Перевод
Мужик увидел в магазине новые презервативы "Олимпийские". Купил. Приходит домой и хвастает жене. Она:
- Ну и что же в них такого особенного? олимпийского?
Он:
- они трех цветов: золотой, серебрянный и бронзовый.
- А какой ты оденешь сегодня?
- конечно золотой!
- Да?.. а может серебрянный? и хоть раз попробуешь прийти вторым...

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best"(с) O.Wilde

1.Tri-weekly 2.Try-weekly 3.Try-weakly

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best"(с) O.Wilde

Добавлено (19.11.2008, 10:28)
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Да и еще в тему:
"Наблюдая за англичанами" Кейт Фокс. Кстати - антрополог. И налюдает за соплеменниками как антрополог. Очень и очень забавно и любопытно.

И от себя...
Не совсем английское, но на английском и английское на нем же

*In a hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said," You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist...
He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure..
The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.
Your penis is under your pillow."
Men Never Listen

*One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urinesample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better!
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart

*A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients? I'd like to find out if a family member is doing better."
The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"
"Sarah Finkel, room 302."
"I'll connect you with the nursing station."
"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"
"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."
"Are you a family member?"
"Yes, Yes I am.."
"Hold on.. let me look at her records... Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, she is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, looks like Dr. Cohen is going to send her home very soon!"
The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a sister or perhaps an aunt..?"
"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302... and NOBODY ever tells me shit!

Маленький видео фильм:
Goodbye To The Normals

И пару ссылочек:
Idiotlamp- это их фильм(Goodbye To The Normals).

The jokes - шутки и смешные рассказы.

А это картина одного из моих любимых художников - Thomas Kinkade

Ну и раз и тут разошлась...
Я долгое время искала фотографию ночного Лондона для оформления комнаты. Я нашла то, что повешу на стену (рамку сделала, фото готово, осталось паспорту найти). Пока искала...






А это место куда я хочу попасть больше всего, думаю не я одна
Mr, Mrs, Miss, Madams and Sirs, allow me to present...little piece of...Hampstead

Добавлено (20.11.2008, 12:26)
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Наташ, пасиб тебе за одёжку